What will this blog do, and what will it not do?

What this blog will not do is give a full history of the controversy. I disqualified myself from writing that history. I did that by behaving myself wickedly when the controversy first arose. Instead of reading the documents and trying to understand the issues, I made foolish, spiritually immature, and just plain wretched judgments.

I swallowed the narrative, hook, line, sinker.

A debate at Hope Church about doctrine? Easy: Neil & Connie Meyer are wrong, and Hope is right. I also threw in some slander about the Meyers for good measure.

I still shudder to think of it.

Neil & Connie have forgiven me for what I did. They were as gracious as I was ungracious. God has forgiven me those sins. He has blotted out my sins for his own sake (Isa. 43:25).  

But I cannot forget how quickly I was willing to slander and heap scorn on a fellow saint. I tell you, I hate the thought of what I did. I could weep to think about it. I murdered fellow saints and strengthened the hands of the evildoers, and I did it without a second thought. I was the simple man according to Proverbs 14:15. It does not make me doubt my salvation because I look to someone else for that, but I know what “scarcely” means in 1 Peter 4:17.

What this blog will do is talk about current events.

Events in which I was engaged.

It will speak in favor of an action that has to this point only been publicly condemned. It will defend that action.

This blog will reveal documents that have heretofore not been revealed.

(It will use words like heretofore because words are like tasty morsels, and some are tastier than others. And what bold wordsmith had the audacity to take three words and cram them together into one word?)

This blog will not convince some, maybe even most.

For many, the PRC and the words “true church” are synonymous and will be until the day Christ returns, and no evidence to the contrary will convince them otherwise. No other church has lasted 100 years without apostatizing, but the PRC is different. It just is.

This blog will not reach, or try to reach, those who are not reading about the controversy.

They may read this blog post, but it will not mean anything to them. They unsubscribed from Sword & Shield, have only read the Standard Bearer sparingly, and have not come anywhere near the agendas or minutes from ecclesiastical assemblies.

Those people will die from lack of knowledge. Simply being in the orb of a church won’t save them. They will die. And the ironic thing is that although they give their kids every earthly delight, their children will die too. God promises in Hosea 4:6 that that will happen to them: “because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee…I will also forget thy children.”

The formula is simple: If you don’t read, you can’t have knowledge. You may have a very good golf game, your vacations may be the envy of all around, your business will thrive so it is worth millions and millions of dollars, and you will have friends galore, but you will die. And your children will die. You rejected knowledge.  

So this blog will not reach very many, and of those it reaches, it will not convince most.

Sounds like a failure waiting to happen.

But our calling is not to be successful. Our calling is to be faithful.  

So, by the grace of God, I will blow the trumpet (Jer. 6:1).

The disposing thereof is of the Lord.

Here are words I never thought I would say: “I am not Protestant Reformed.”

Bewilderment.

Anxiety.

Fear.

Turmoil.

How could this happen?

Paul, in Philippians 1:23, writes, “For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better.”

To be in a strait is to be in a pinched, narrow place. It is to be in a place of trouble and difficulty.  

For Paul, the strait was to be torn between a desire to be in heaven with Christ, which would be far better, and to remain on earth and minister to the saints of Philippi.

Paul’s desire tore him. It pressed hard upon him. He wanted to be with Jesus Christ. But he knew God’s sheep needed him. He was in a strait between two choices. He was “hard pressed” between them (ESV).

My strait cannot be compared with the apostle Paul’s.

But I had a strait. There was that which pressed upon me, and not only me.

This blog will provide an outlet for me to write about that strait.

The thought of starting a blog is loathsome to me. It still makes me feel uncomfortable. “Who do you think you are? You think you are so important and that what you have to say is so vital that you have to start a blog? How pompous.”

My conscience is always my own worst assailant, but I know that’s what my critics will say.

But I didn’t ask for this.

God placed me in the position he did. He placed me into the office of elder at Byron Center Protestant Reformed Church, where from the very first consistory meeting there was contention. Strong contention. That contention built until a year and a half later we as a consistory voted to suspend and depose our pastor.

Which left me outside of the denomination that I loved. That I still love.

There is a story that must be told.

So I intend to tell it. 

And I make the words of Job my own.

“Suffer me that I may speak; and after that I have spoken, mock on” (Job 21:3).